Moving Forward: Finding Purpose in Business After Loss
The sun filters through my window as I open my laptop for another day. It's been five months since Leni passed, and the house still feels too quiet throughout the day and night. But during the day, I find solace in building something meaningful—something that might have made her proud.
Today's agenda sits before me, ambitious as always. Leni used to tease me about my lengthy to-do lists. "You're planning for three days, not one," she'd laugh. She was usually right.
Building the Foundation
First priority: setting up the HubSpot Sales and Marketing CRM for KoinTyme. After decades in tech leadership roles for others, building another company with my daughter as my partner feels both terrifying and exhilarating.
The HubSpot integration is straightforward enough—a foundation to build upon. I'm also registering as a solutions partner to offer Digital Marketing services through their platform. Another revenue stream for KoinTyme, another reason to keep moving forward.
Finding My Edge
The tech landscape has shifted dramatically in recent years. AI isn't just coming—it's here, reshaping everything. My experience as a CTO positions me well to guide companies through this transformation. That's why I'm creating a custom chat bot for KoinTyme using Botpress today, showcasing what we can build for clients.
The new landing page for KoinTyme.com will focus specifically on our three core services: Custom Chat Bot Projects, Fractional CTO Services, and HubSpot Digital Marketing Platform. I'm targeting clients in the AI requirement space specifically—companies navigating the same waters I've charted throughout my career.
Balancing Growth
In quiet moments, I sometimes wonder what Leni would think of my packed schedule. Along with building KoinTyme, I'm pursuing a Master's in Data Science. Last week, I received an A on my Exploratory Data Analysis project, maintaining my A average in the program.
She always supported my continuous learning, even when it meant late nights at the dining room table surrounded by books and sticky notes. "Your brain never stops," she'd observe, bringing me some amazing food or drinks that she made for me without being asked.
Today, I also need to record a YouTube video and a podcast episode. Creating content doesn't come naturally to me—I've always been more comfortable behind the scenes. But Leni was the one who insisted I had something valuable to share. "People need to hear from someone who's been in the trenches," she'd argue.
I think she'd be amused to see me setting up my microphone and camera now.
The Road Ahead
The grief counselor says finding purpose helps with healing. Some days I'm not sure if I'm healing or just staying busy enough to outrun the pain. But building KoinTyme gives me something to focus on beyond the emptiness of the house.
Every client call, every line of code, every strategic decision—they all require me to be present, to think about something other than loss. And occasionally, when I've solved a particularly challenging problem, I feel a moment of genuine satisfaction that breaks through the fog.
Leni always said I was at my best when solving problems. So that's what I do now—solve problems for clients, for students, for viewers and listeners. And sometimes, in those moments of flow, I can almost hear her voice: "See? I told you so."
Tonight, I'll continue roam around a house that is empty of her amazing presence. But tomorrow, I'll have new challenges waiting, new problems to solve, new ways to build something that matters. One day at a time. One task at a time. Moving forward, because that's what she would have wanted.
And somehow, that has to be enough.